Diary of A Wimpy Italian
by IheartItaly
Summary: This is a story based off the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. I've changed some of it of course, so It's not 100% the same as the movie. I am open to more suggestions.


This is a story based off the 'Diary of A Wimpy Kid' series.

I don't own Hetalia or Diary of A Wimpy Kid. I Hope you enjoy! Some of it is the same as the first Wimpy Kid movie, but I changed some of it as well.

"Okay. First of All, Let me get something straight. This is NOT a diary! It's just a scrapbook," Italy said holding up a book that said 'diary' on the cover. Italy glanced at it.

"Yeah, I know what it says on the cover. Romano went and bought it for me. I specifically told him not to buy one that said 'diary' on it. This just proves that he doesn't understand anything for people my age. The only reason why I write in this stupid thing is because someday, I'ma going to be one of the best nations in the world. Romano got me this thing so I can start writing my feelings about the world meetings." Italy imagined Romano laughing and punching Italy in the face.

"I'a always thought of them making a show about my life. But...I'a didn't think they would start here. Because seriously. Who wants to watch a show about a country getting beat up by other countries?"

It was early morning one day. Italy was sleeping in his bed and jumped when the alarm went off. Italy shut the alarm off with a press of a button. The clock read 7:00. He moaned tiredly and pulled back the curtains to reveal the sun shining brightly.

Italy scratched his head as he walked out of his room. As he passed the bathroom, Romano made a shout and jumped out while Italy screamed. Romano smiled as he forced his brother's head under his armpits.

"Three days. No shower. Smell the love of Lovino," he chuckled.

"Let me go, Romano!" Italy said as broke free of his brother's grip. He whimpered and wiped off the sweat from his older brother.

"Oh, come on. We're just having some fun, right?" Italy looked freaked.

"No? Okay. So, look," Romano said as he put a swob in his ear, which ended up being crumbled, "I'm going to give you some advice about the world meetings. It's real simple." Italy looked concerned. His older brother usually played sick practical jokes on Italy.

"Don't talk to anyone. Don't look at anyone. Don't go anywhere. Don't sit down," he gave Italy a disgusted look, "Don't raise your hand." He started to chuckle some, "Don't go to the bathroom. Don't get noticed. Don't cross Switzerland's border. Don't-" he stopped. Then smiled, "ah, who am I kidding? You'll be dead at Rome by the end of the world meeting anyway." He laughed and patted Italy's tummy.

"And don't be seen with Germany," Romano said as he walked away. Italy watched him leave.

At breakfast, Italy sat down next to his little brother, Sardinia, who was at least four. He had his mouth open and made a face at Italy.

"Sardinia, stop it," Italy told him. He turned to Romano, "I'a think it's undignified that I have to sit next to him...on the potty." he said as he glace at his younger brother on a potty trainer. Romano frowned.

"It's your fault he's not potty trained," he said, crossing his arms. Italy had a flashback to when Sardinia was first using the potty. He smiled.

"Don't look down, Sardinia. The potty monster doesn't like it when you look at him." He was only joking, but Sardinia took it seriously and began to cry. Italy frowned.

"That was only a joke. I'a was only playing," he said standing up. Romano smiled.

"Kiss him and tell him you're sorry. And then you should leave for the world meeting." Italy stared at Romano. Then he looked at his little brother, who smiled at him in a way that said, 'You heard him. Apologize'. That's another thing, Italy thought, Sardinia's always being protected.

As Italy opened the doors to the world meeting, he saw other countries already fighting with one another. Britain was trying to get away from France, who held him and tried to kiss him. America started laughing at this behavior. Greece was taking a nap, as usual. China was stating his opinion about the argument of the meeting. Russia, the creepiest country of all, was smiling as the fighting continued. Italy walked in, wide eyed. He shouldn't be surprised. This kind of stuff happened ALL the time. He sat down at his seat and sighed. He ran his hands through his light-brown hair and sighed.

"That'sa another thing," He thought to himself. "I'a think world meetings are the stupidest thing that was'a ever invented."

Suddenly the doors burst open and Germany stepped in.

"EVERYBODY, SHUT UP!" he screamed. Everyone froze as Germany walked in, his big, heavy boots stomping the floor as he walked to his seat. Japan came walking in behind him. When they were all seated, he meeting began. As usual, Italy was bored. Everyone was beginning to argue about another fact that Italy stopped listening. He drew pictures on his paperwork. A little boy about 12 or so smiled at him. He was sitting right next to Italy and waved. He had short blond hair and was wearing a sailor's outfit. His eyes were sky blue. Italy smiled.

"Ciao!"

"Hello, I'm Sealand! I'm the world's smallest nation. Nobody seems to appreciate me though. I may be small, but I've got a huge heart! Want to share my lollipop?" he said, licking at his candy and then offering it to Italy. Italy smiled awkwardly. Sealand had to be, by far, the most childish nation. Italy shook his head.

"No, thanks. I'ma not really having a sweet tooth at the moment. Sealand stared at him, but he nodded and stuck the lollipop back into his mouth. After a moment he smiled again.

"Want to see my freckle?" he asked. Before Italy could object, Sealand lifted his shirt to reveal a freckle on his stomach. He smiled with excitement.

"It even has a hair in it! Want to help me name it?" he asked. Italy shivered. Sealand was really weird. The noise stopped, then Britain spoke up.

"Sealand?! What the bloody devil are you doing here?! You're not a county, so shoo!" he said. He picked up Sealand by the shirt and tossed him out of the room. He closed the doors and dusted off his hands.

"Well, he won't be bothering us anymore," he said. Italy was glad Sealand was gone. That kid was weird.

After the world meeting, Italy walked back home. Just as he was walking up to the house, Romano's van pulled up. It read on the side in black spray paint 'Loaded Pasta'. He and his friends had a band. Romano crashed into the trash can, but he didn't seem to care. Romano walked out with his friends and noticed Italy. Romano smiled.

"Hey, little brother. Was the first world meeting as crappy as I said it would be?" Italy smiled nervously.

"No, not at all. You were wrong. It was actually-"

"Worse?" Romano finished for him. Italy hung his head. Romano chuckled.

"You didn't listen to me, did you? I told you not to talk, look, or go anywhere. And look what happened, eh?"

"I'a- was bored and had to skip my lunch," Italy said in a low voice. But Romano heard it and laughed.

"Perfect! If nobody wants YOU sitting next to them, you think they want to be friends with you? I'a was right, eh? You're not going to be able to make it out there alive. The only chance you have in making a spot on the world map is when they dedicate it to your memory." then he smiled and snapped his fingers, making Italy jump. Then he and his buddies went off to play in the basement.

Italy began to search in Romano's room for his old world conference meeting book. He could hear the band playing load and clear. Italy took a deep breath. If Romano caught Italy in his room, he would kill him. Like, literally kill him. Italy found the book and started looking through it. He smiled to himself. Yes, this was where he needed to be. A country on the world map.

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU IF YOU EVER CAME INTO MY ROOM AGAIN?!" Romano screamed as he opened the door. Italy screamed.

"But your band is'a still playing?" Italy said. Romano stared at him.

"It's the base solo, you'a idioto! Don't you know anything about music?"

"Plenty of it," Italy tried to smile. Romano glared at him, then he grabbed a drumstick.

"I'a only came up here to get a drumstick," he began to walk towards Italy, "And now, Veneziano. Im'a going to kill you. Literally...Kill you!" he said. Italy shivered. He figured that.

"I'a was'a...just...leaving!" Italy said as he ran out of the room, just as Romano was diving to catch him. Italy ran to his room and locked the door. On the other side, Romano laughed.

"You'rea going to have to come out some time, pasta baby! I'll wait here, as long as it takes. And then," he smiled, "You're dead," he sang. Italy looked down at the bottom of the door. He could see Romano tapping his foot, waiting. He smiled and stood up.

"Tell Romano, I have to pee." Romano chuckled.

"No time outs. Only death."

"But I really have to go!" Italy whimpered.

"Don't a'care!" Romano said. Italy began to sweat. He tried everything to keep his mind off of water. But he could hear the sprinkler watering the yard. He could hear the neighbors watering their plants. He could take it anymore! He looked under the door and could still see Romano's shoes in front of the door. He whimpered. Then he opened the door and stood prepared to face Romano. But all he saw was his brother's shoes. Italy rolled his eyes. Romano was so mean! He ran to the bathroom, only to see Sardinia on the toilet. Italy grabbed him and pulled him off. Sardinia whimpered in protest.

"Move over! I'ma dying!" he said. Then he sighed in relief as he was finally able to pee. Romano jumped out of the bathtub and gave a shout. Italy screamed and peed on Romano. Romano shrieked. After a moment he frowned.

Italy ended up cleaning the bathroom.{Romano made him} Romano smiled and crossed his arms. Italy frowned as he scrubbed the floor.

"It'sa your fault," he said. Romano chuckled as his response.

The next day, Italy decided to try out in wrestling. He figured he could try fighting. If he was going to be a strong nation he had to start now. Germany stared at Italy. The Italian wore a blue helmet and armor.

"Are you sure you're ready for this? You look more like a chihuahua more zen a fighter," he said, looking him over. Italy smiled and saluted with his left hand.

"Si. I'ma ready!" he smiled. Germany stared at him. Then he nodded and walked away. Next to Italy was Sealand...again. Italy smiled as he looked at his blue armor.

"I'a like your armor." he complimented. Sealand smiled.

"Thanks! My mum let me borrow it," he said, giving a fist pump. Italy smiled awkwardly.

As it turned out, Sealand was able to kick Italy's butt. That was something Italy didn't understand, because he was older and bigger than Sealand. Italy hung his head in disappointment.

One night, Italy was looking at the world map. Romano noticed him and smiled.

"What are you'a up to, eh?" he asked. Italy didn't even look at him.

"Nothing," he said. He was drawing some kind of map. Romano nodded, then he grabbed the drawing before Italy was able to grab it. Romano smiled in triumph then looked at the map.

"Ah, trying to cross Switzerland to Germany's, eh? That takes you right across the Lost Country Woods."

"The 'Lost Country Woods'?" Italy repeated, thinking he misunderstood him. Romano looked at him.

"You know about that story, right?" Italy shook his head.

"Well, there used to be this house," he pointed to the area, "Right here where these woods are. They had to tear it down because what happened there was'a so terrible."

"What happened there?" Italy asked. He began to shiver, but hid it.

"Well, a long time ago, two people who were- I'a don't know. Maybe young countries! They were passing that house on Halloween night," Romano began. Italy gulped, tonight was Halloween night. Not that he was afraid or used the holiday in Italy. But he was beginning to become scared. Romano continued, "But the house was'a full... of Lost Countries. The young countries were put in these giant pizza ovens. And they cooked them and they ate them. But they forgot to turn off the ovens. So the house burned down, with everyone in it."

"H-How did the trees get there?" Italy stammered.

"And then they planted trees," Romano said eerily.

"Oh..." Italy said.

"And to this day, on Halloween night, you can still hear the laughter of the Lost Countries. As they roam the woods, LOOKING. For more countries...TO SACRIFICE!" Romano screamed and pounced on Italy, who screamed in horror. Romano laughed and walked away. Italy shivered. What if something like that happens to him?

It didn't matter to Italy. He was going to try to cross the border. He gulped as he approached Switzerland's. He looked both ways and took a step over the border line. With one foot over the border, there was no sign of Switz boy. Italy took another step in, then another, then another. Italy dared to breathe. Switzerland was nowhere to be seem. Italy froze when he came close to Switzerland's house. The light to Switzerland's room was on. Italy swallowed and sneaked past under the window and to the other side. So far so good. Then Italy heard a noise. He stopped. He couldn't exactly explain it, but he thought he heard someone breathing. Italy turned to look, but saw no one. Italy shivered. Then he heard laughter and movement by the bushes. He gulped.

"The Lost Countries. So it'sa true!" Italy quickly ran and didn't care where he was going. He past the open field and startled Switzerland's goats, who scattered. Then, from behind a bush, Switzerland stepped out and pointed his gun at Italy.

"When I say no trespassing, I mean it!" he said. Italy screamed, but then he smiled and waved.

"Oh! Ciao, Switzerland! I'a thought you were one of the Lost Countries." Switzerland stared at him.

"What are you talking about? There's no such thing as the 'Lost Countries'. What are you doing here? Go back home before I shoot you!" he said. Italy shivered and began to back up.

"Wait! I'a just want to get to Germany," he said. Switzerland cocked his gun.

"You better start leaving!" he warned. Italy screamed and ran back towards his country. Just to make sure Italy wouldn't turn around and come back, he started firing off bullets at Italy. Italy screamed as the bullets zipped past him, missing him by a hair. One bullet did cut of a hair!

When Italy reached the border line to Italy, he breathed a sigh of relief. But gasped again when, he saw Switzerland standing outside his border. Switzerland handed him the hair he lost.

"You forgot something." Italy smiled nervously and took the hair.

"Uhh, what does it matter if there's a hair in your yard?" Switzerland didn't like the sound of that and cocked his gun.

"It still means you've been on my land. Not a hair stays in my country!" he said and turned around and left. He kept looking over his shoulder, making sure that Italy stayed on his side. Italy shivered. If it wasn't the dead that was going to kill him, it was going to be Switzerland.

Italy decided he should try and make friends with Sealand. After all, nobody would. Italy asked him if he wanted to be friends with him. Sealand was happy and put his arms around Italy.

"Oh, Italy, I love you! We're going to be best friends forever!" he said. Italy smiled and patted him on the back. They walked to Sealand's house and went inside.

"I can't believe it!" Sealand said as they stepped into his room, "Italy Veneziano's in my room! What do you want to do, Italy Veneziano? How about Twistlier?" Sealand said as he went to the red, blue, yellow, and green spots on the white, plastic mat.

"I'ma not much of a Twistlier guy," Italy said. Sealand's face lit up as he saw a bag of jelly beans Italy was holding.

"Candy!" he exclaimed as he grabbed the bag.

"Wait! No, no, no! Sealand come on! Really! I'a really think we should save those for later! Maybe we should go outside and-" Italy said as he tried to make Sealand focus. But Sealand smiled.

"My mum doesn't let me have sugar. She says it could ruin my diet and hyper activity," Sealand said as he waved it off. Italy could understand why Sealand's mom didn't want him to have sweats. He was WEIRD!

"But it's so good!" Sealand said. Italy decided this wasn't such a great idea after all.

"You'a know what? I'a just remembered I'a had a busy schedule. Germany would kill me if I'a missed it. I'a really should be going." Sealand began to pick his nose. Italy stared at him with disgust as Sealand stuck his hand out toward Italy. With a booger on his finger.

"Get away from me!" Italy said as he opened the door and ran out, with Sealand chasing after. Italy ran to the bathroom and locked himself it. Sealand started banging on the door.

"Let's have some fun Italy! Italy? Italy? Italy? Italy?" Sealand called. Italy sighed and put his back to the door and slid down.

"I hear you breathing, Italy," Sealand whispered, which sounded horrifying to Italy.

That night, Italy laid in the bathtub. It wasn't the best place to sleep. But Italy figured it was better than sleeping in Sealand's room. Sealand walked up to the door and slipped a note under the door. Italy glanced at it, then he got out and walked over to the note. He picked up the note and began to read to himself.

Dear, Italy.

I'm sorry I chased you with a booger on my finger.

Here, I put it on this paper so you can get me back.

Below the note was an arrow pointing to the spot where Italy held his thumb. Italy removed his thumb and saw a gooey booger on it. Italy fainted.

"Well, in the end. The world meetings turned out to be pretty good. I'a became good friends with Japan and Germany. Soon we all formed an alliance. My goal was to be a country and me and Romano soon became one! Even if it wasn't exactly as I'a planed. By the way, there'a is'a no such thing as the curse of the 'Lost Countries'. I'a found out it was'a all a joke Romano played on me."

The end. {If you have any suggestions, please tell me}


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